why is it even if i have a boyfriend i will have thoughts of other people fucking me or doing nasty things to me? no i dont act on these thoughts even though sometimes i want to i just dont see the point in cheating. i want to have a girlfriend and a boyfriend but idk who would be ok with it but then i just want to have friends that i can hang with and if i want to kiss up on them then i can and no strings attached why is that so much to ask for? is this normal to think like this all the time or is there something wrong with me like i have thought like this for as long as i can remember and i always fight the urges but sometimes i just want to cave in.
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