ptsd take over

 my ptsd has been bad the past almost three weeks now. it has been hard for me to sleep eat do anything really. i have no motivation for life or anything at this moment. all I keep doing is throwing up and having these really intense headaches that i know are caused by the stress. I have thought about making an appointment again with my therapist but at the same time how do I know that it will actually do anything for me. i just want to feel normal again and not stressed out but it seems like anything I do I am still stressed out. i know its cause i am in this apartment and I have to deal with my crazy neighbor and all her lies but i am to the point where i just want to give up and i know that i can't and that I will be moved out of here soon but soon isn't soon enough unfortunately. but hopefully in the next month I will be moved out of here and starting to feel better and more relaxed because i don't deserve this or what I am going through.  i have come so far in life with my ptsd and the fact that my neighbors bf hit me in the head and it triggered it back up to the full extent is scary because i know i can't live like this forever and that if it doesn't stop or i don't get help that it won't end well because my organs will start to shut down and no one wants that. i try to ignore her and i blocked her but the fact that she sits on Facebook daily bad talking me and thinking she will get away with it is mind blowing to me because like what the actual fuck they need to be punished and its sad to say that i don't think they will unless i put it into my own hands and that isn't something i want to do because i have to worry about my kids and think about them i can't help what anyone else does or says i know the truth.  i just want to get better for myself and for my kids and i know its going to be a long journey all over again but this time around i know a little bit more on what to do and how to make myself feel safe. which i do feel safe cause i know i can hold my own but it still makes me worry that the fact she won't drop it and is trying to get me in more trouble than i deserve and she is the one who deserves it 

i hope when we go to court the judge is going to hear my side of the story and see the proof and side with me and not her because she deserves to rot in hell and die and have a painful death no wonder her parents gave her up for adoptions they knew she was going to be a dumb bitch and didn't want to deal with her and now her adopted family is seeming like they don't want to deal with her either and i laugh at that because she has to be miserable for the fact that no one wants her not even her gay boyfriend he wants her to be a man than a female and that is why he makes her fuck him in the ass every time they fuck and she thinks she is happy good luck to her and her misery but she isn't going to be bringing me down with her