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Friday, April 19, 2024

my blog

 when i first started this blog i really was going to use it as an escape and to vent about what i have been dealing with, and to maybe help with my mental health. back in 2021 my ex tried to kill me and i have been fighting with mental health issues even more than i was before this happened. i already was struggling with my bipolar and ptsd and having to raise two kids on my own with no friends or family. so i came on here to help vent and get off my chest some of things and i ddint think anyone would actually think that anyone would find these but come to my suprise people did. 

then i started to write stories abou things that have happened in my life and others lives that i del with on a daily basis i end up changing the names, so it hides there true idientiy because i dont want to expose anyone. but when i started to wrtie like that it brough back how much i forgot that i love to write. it is my esape from my reality and since it has helpoed me over come alot in the past year or two i am deciding to pick back up on writing and i am planning on writing a book that i have randomly been working on for the past month now. it has come along pretty well but still has far to come. i am going to start posting a new chapter every tuesday and thurdsay till the book is compeletly out. i use to write stories like this when i was back in school i use to wrtie all types of stories all the time and many of my teachers told me to never give up because i have potential but i never seen it so i gave up on myself. but now that i am trying to figure out how to be myself and not just a mom i have picked back up on my wriritng. i never knew i could miss something that gives me so much comfort and satisfaction writing and rereading it to see how far i have come. i truly cant wait for you all to read my book that i am working on. i know it wont be for everyone but for the ones that it is so thanks for supporting me and following me on his journey we have already imbarked on. 

i will also end up posting on other days about little stories that i am working on as well, but i havent decided yet just going to go wtht he flow and feel free to share my stories it would be doing me a great favor. love all of my supporters. 

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

my name is zuri.

 hey everyone my name is zuri and i am going to talk about my life and the friends i have made in the past five years. little back story i live in england and my main bestfriend she lives in australia. zuri and her bestie ava talked every single day. basically unless they had something going on where they could video chat, so they would send updates throughout the day on what was going on and how they were feeling that day. {zuris point of view} i randomly met ava through a mutal friend one day and at first i was just sat back and watched everyone mingle. i was really trying to catch avas vibe to see if we would clash or get along. to my suprise she was laid back and seemed to get along with everyone we ere around at the time. it seemed that no one had anything bad to say about her when i asked around. they all told me she was a really good friend and had a goofy personaility. with that being said i asked our friend that we shared in common what avas snapchat or facebook was so i could add her and see if maybe she wanted to hang with us later that weekend because a couple of us girls were going out for some coffee and shopping. i ended up adding her on facebook and to my suprise she ended up saying yes she would love to come and i figured this would be  good way to start up a new friendship since my bestfriend had moved out of town a few weeks before and i have been a couch potatoe ever since. when i added her i seen she was from aussie bu she comes here to england every few months to spend time with her dad since her mom and dad split when she was tweleve. ava said she didnt really mind it because all they did was fight and argue about everything. didnt matter how big or small it was they seemed to find everything wrong with eachother that ava ended up staying at friends most of the time to avoid the toxicity in her own home. once they got divorced her dad wanted to get as far away as possible but that wasnt the best for ava becasue she was always traveling back and forth and since she is always coming and going she had to get homeschooled so it shrank her social life like crazy and just made her main friends whenever she could when she would be visitng. hence how we met trough bailey. bailey was techically her cousin but they were more like the bestfriend you could ever ask for. me and ava soon became glued to the hip and did everything together. it started out with a couple of us girls and bailey of course he came along because there wasnt much else to do. then as the time went on it just ended up being me and ava hanging out on our own all the time. i didnt mind it at all because at this point we have become bestfriend and telling eachother everything even if it was a little too much detail sometimes. but that is what was making our friendship stronger. we knew everything about eachother and have been through so much together and over come so much with the help of eachother. we thought when she would go back to hers we were dying because we were so apart. i could only imagine our phone bills if we didnt have unlimited text and data because we were on the phone every second of the day till she came back to her das. then we were togther everyday. basically if you saw me ava wasnt to far behind. some people asked us how we didnt get sick of eachother. i cant lie sometimes we did get annoyed with eachother and had our little fights but they never lasted very lng till we both cave and say sorry because it didnt mean anything. youd say we both grew found of eachother where we felt like if we wernt together we felt like we had a piece missing from ourselves. now lets jump forward a few years. we have had many fights and non talking weeks and one time two months.. that was the longest we didnt talk. but we ended up becoming friends again but this time ava was different. i didnt pay much mind to ava and her acting werid we have been through so much that sometimes one of us gets in a funk. but this was different than getting in a funk i have noticed that when me and ava hangout with friends she starts to get mad and jealous when i am talking to someone else and interupts every time i am talking to someone else. i brought it up to ava and she said she was sorry she didnt mean to its just sometimes she doesnt like to share her bestfriend. i totally understand because sometimes i just want me and my bestie time where we go do things and rant about everything and everyone who is bothering us. ava said yeah it is sorta like that, but my feelings are a little stronger than besties anymore. i laughed it off because i didnt think she was serious and i fiigured she was going through one of her phases that she got over in a week.. i should of took her serious because it has ended us where we are today. ava would start saying some things that would make me feel uncomfortable and would comment on my appearance with sexual manner which i told her on many different ocassions that i didnt like when she would say things like that to me and seh would always say sorry and say she wouldnt do it again yet it seemed like she was always doing it no matter how many times she said sorry. i ended up slowly distanting myself from her. we didnt hangout as much anymore and i blammed it on work and dealing with school. i told ava i was trying to figure out my life and even make time to eat or even sleep for that matter. she seemed understandable at first and gave me my space.  yes dont get me wrong we would still text off and on basically every day, but if i would go more than a half day without messaging her or replying back to her in a timily manner. she would end up calling my phone back to back and once she realized i wasnt going to answer she would start to text me first it would be "hey are you ok just checking on you havent heard from you all day, just making sure you are still breathing." i would message her back and say "yes im breathing but barley living lmao." then i would get back to what i was doing and i would hear my phone ding i just ignored it because i needed to focus thing all the sudden i hear. ding..ding...ding..ding..ding.. and so on i figured it was an emergency with that many text, but was i so wrong it was her freakng out on me because i wasnt messaging her back and i turned off my location so she couldnt see where i was and she was freaking out about that as well. i told her "ava i think it would be healthy if we both took some time to ourselves and focused on oursleves for a little bit because i am just overwhelmed with life." ava seemed to be understanding and told me to message her when i am feeling better and clear my head. i was thankful for her getting that i just needed time. well ava had other agenda rathe than leaving me alone she started to stalk all my soical media and then would randomly show up all hours of the day and night and just watch my housee. i even caught her a couple times following me and i had to tell her at this point ava you are stalking me and i am starting to feel unsafe. ava looked at me all confused and said all she was doing was looking out for me to make sure i am safe. i told her thank you but you are the only one making me feel unsafe. after than ava went mia for about a week or two. i was out to eat with bailey, avas cousin, and we were just catching up and talking about our school majors and what was going on in our lives. ive always had a crush on bailey but i never told him because after ava and i became best friends i thought it would be wrong even though ive known bailey way longer. when we were eating our food we didnt notice that ava came in to the resturant. and it didnt take long to notice she was there. all the sudden i hear ava saying " oh so you dont have time to hangout with me because you are busy with school and work, yet you can make time for my fucking cousin are you kidding me? we are suppose to be bestfriends we should be hanging out not you and a dude." bailey and i looked at eachother looked at her and then looked at eachother again. at this point i didnt know what to say to ava because she has crossed the lines so many times it was like she went from being my bestfriend to my obssesive  stalker who i barley knew anymore because she didnt act the same when we first became friends and i didnt know what had come over her anymore. bailey ended up standing up and looking at ava and told her that her fantasy obssesion had of me needed to stop because it wasnt healthy and that me and bailey were talking to be more than friends because we both like eachother and we had to go behind your back because you act like a jealous girlfriend who wont let zuri do anything. this made ava snap off and flip on everyone she then confessed that she did fall in love with zuri and that if she couldnt have her than no one was going to and she would make sure of that. bailey looked at me and said come on we are leaving i dont want you around her when she is acting like this your safety is at risk at this point so we both left. ava watched us leave and we could see her picking up her phone and calling someone. i didnt really care who she was calling because she was insane, but before bailey could even blink an eye he called his aunt and uncle in a three way and told them how ava has been acting and what she has been saying and doing and they both said she hasnt been on her meds and that zuri nor i were safe as long as she was out there without her meds so they ended up calling the cops and reporting that she is a harm to herslef and others and if anyone sees her to stay away  call them.. im not sure what has happened to her but i do know i will get fake accounts watching and adding me on socail media and a few times she has tried to reach out to me but bailey blocks it before i can even see it because he knows how much truama she has put me through and still to this day bailey tells me sorry for even introducing us.

Monday, April 1, 2024

bestfriends or enemies? part 8

last we chatted lena and cookie were having it out for eachother and then being eachothers friends so much that it was so unhealthy. we are going to speed up time and speak on a little bit of the present so lena and matthew got into that huge arguement and cookie sat back and laughed at her pain like she feed off her loosing her mind. which i understand when you are best friends but hate eachother at the same time and are only friends with eachother because they dont have anyone else at the end of the day they always come back to eachother. but does lena act like a crazy girlfriend rathe than a friend for no reason or is there something we are missing from the story as well. cookie has said that she flirts with lena all the time because she knows it gets her going and then she fucks with her and after she does that and goes on about her day. cookie will go and hang out with people and send pictures to lena of a guy hanging on her and making lena go crazy because she is jealous that cookie is giving her attetion to someone else rather than all to her like she wants. because secretly lena is madily in love with cookie but instead of telling cookie she starts to get mad and jealous and starts to act an asshole way to cookie and cookie gets confused because she doesnt get why she is getting so mad. even though cookie has some ideas but she isnt for certain on them that is why she hasnt said anything to her because she doesnt want her to feel embarressed. cookie continued to do as she please she had a little to much fun than she attended and ended up with a few people in just a short time spand and when she would message lena about it lena would be cold and cookie said what is the matter with you we have always talked to eachother about any guy and lena said idk you only talked about this guy once so i cant help you and then went ghost on cookie for a good week or two and cookie said fuck lena she is a snake ass bitch and then that is when a whole new shit show began. 

the life of sharon part 9

 i know it has been awhile since i have updated you on sharon. as you last read she had gotten kicked out of her cousins and ended up at another one of her boyfriends cousins house katty and terrys house. they told her she would be able to stay there but she isnt aloud to sleep on the couch anymore like she use to. also she has to pay rent and use a what little food benefits she has to put stuff in the fridge. the craziest thing though is that sharon is sleeping in a walk in closet in their spare bedroom. and sharon is perfeclty fine living on the floor without a bed and just blankets as a palate. we know that sharon doesnt like to take showers. oh but thats a big no no in terrys house he makes her take a shower daily or she isnt aloud to be in his house. he refuses to have a fat smell bitch in his house he has quoted many times. sharon would just roll her eyes and continue to scroll on her phone and act like she didnt hear it, yet she would go to other peoples houses and start crying about what terry has said to her and that no one was nice to her and treated her like shit all because they want her to have good hyigene. sharon tried to play the victim roll. everyone she has told the story to told her they agree with terry and that isnt what sharon wanted to hear so she would get a shitty look on her face and start to be all nasty with her attitude at everyone who disagreeded with her because as well all know sharon is always right and no one helps her or cares about her. even when they are giving her every chance in the book. oh ya and before i forget suprising sharon has her job still, probably becasue terry makes her go and she doesnt have a choice if she wants to continue to live in their closet. she is like a big oh harry potter just different if he was under a stair case and she is in a closet in a bedroom.. would you be ok with living in a closet? or would you save up your money and get yourself a place to stay even if it does take most of your pay because at least you know you have a place of your own or sleep in the closet? i think its a no brainer question but thats only me what would you do??