the weekend purge

 so, this weekend was the bit short of boring or slow. on Friday we ended up getting our black kitten and i just now on Sunday figured out a name for her. i decided on Prisicilla. it fits her well she is such a little spunky kitten and i love it. then on Saturday we went out to a hockey game, and it was fun besides the food was trash there I'm starting to learn that i need to eat before i go or after because they charge way too much for it to be that nasty. then after the game drove back home which was an hour, so you know i had to jam out to my music lately been stuck on that ot Mexican. he hits every time and gets you turnt up once i got home i ended up stopping at a bar and getting a few drinks i even danced for the first time ever at a bar and didn't care who was watching me and who wasn't. i only had three drinks but they were fire i had a few people try mine and they ended up getting what i order which is yummy might have to post it on my food blog so stay on the lookout for that.... if you want to check out and see what i already posted you are more than welcome too @ foodiebigback059.blogspot.com go show me some love over there

on another note, it has been almost a month and my stalker who i haven't talked to at all keeps messaging me randomly it has gotten a little better, but it still is happening when it shouldn't be at all might have to do a big blast 

the adventure of homeschooling

 today was our first day of homeschooling and let me tell you we need some work that is for sure. i think we did good with the lesson plans, but time management is what we are going to have to work on. i know that it is going to take some time for us to get on a routine and see what works best for us but i don't think today went so bad really... like yes we did take way to many breaks which we will work on better for tomorrow and if we do take so many breaks, we need to make them not as long. 

    as for making a schedule for the week and months to come for like spelling and math and all the fun things i plan on doing has been so fun i love to plan and organize so this is like a dream of mine come true and i can't wait to get the school room together i have so many plans for that but once i start that project i will have to keep you all updated on that. but on the plus note we actually got through all the stuff  i had planned for us to do today even if it did take us basically all day to finish but mainly it was a lot of playing with the neighbors since they didn't have school because it's a "holiday" 

so far, we are loving to homeschool and i am so proud of myself for taking this step and doing what everyone told me i shouldn't do fuck the haters because they just hold you back from what you can really become

its been weeks

 it has been weeks since i stopped talking to an ex friend and they still don't get it that i don't want to be their friend after i already told them two different times that i am not their friend anymore and they need to push on and i haven't answered a single message in over two weeks and yet they still text me on social media at least once a day and i will open it and not respond...i am just over it like i get stalked by my baby daddy's goofy ass girlfriend and her friends like why cause more issues for me and stress me out because i don't want to be your friend like you said you talk to 10 people or more a day so why bother me bother someone else you are annoying and i am so over it!!!   

YOU ARE A FUCKING WERIDO BRO STOP TEXTING MY SOCIAL MEDIA BECAUSE YOU ARE DOING NOTHING BUT PUTTING EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU FOR STALKING AND HARASSMENT SO DO US ALL A FAVOR AND LEAVE ME ALONE

thought of the night saga

 have you ever just sat there and wondered why people call it holding a grudge. like is it really though or are we just seeing the person for who they really are and holding them accountable for their actions finally and people don't like that they have to be responsible for themselves now and how they act and what they say to someone. 

    i truthfully feel like the older generation are the worst when it comes to this because they think they should be able to say whatever they want and act however they want because they are older but yet when someone younger starts to act like that is it rude and how dare they. like no that's not how this works you treat me shitty i treat you shitty that's how that works because i shouldn't just take any type of treatment and be ok with it because you are older or any reason for that matter and if you are a shitty person then no i don't want to be around you or talk to you or have anything to do with you and that isn't holding a grudge that is just me simply setting boundaries and not taking disrespect from someone who doesn't see how they are doing something that's in the wrong or even hurtful for that matter or even caring about others feelings

    HOLD PEOPLE ACOUNTABLE FOR THE WAY THEY TREAT YOU!!!!!

labor story

my first pregnancy was a easy i was only sick for the first three weeks and then i wasn't now for labor that was a whole different story... first off i was in active labor dilated to 4cm and the doctors still wouldn't take me so i was like that for a month.. a whole fucking month i was miserable i went in maybe twice a week because i couldn't sleep and i was in so much pain. till one night i went in at like 9pm and got out at 2 am and was in so much pain i couldn't sit down i couldn't stand nothing i was on my hands and knees in my shower with hot ass water having contractions and in labor from 3 am to about 9 am when i got to the hospital they told me i did dilate to 5 cm and they were going to keep me at this time i didn't want any type of meds i was doing it all natural.. the doctor came in and broke my water and in 15 mins i was dilated all the way to 10 cm and it was time to push i pushed without pain meds for 4 hours before i had to do an emergency c section.. and man was them 4 hours long let me to you that. i had my grandma sitting in the room which i didn't want her in there and she was on the phone the whole time talking about she is in labor and shit like that it was disgraceful and annoying and then i had my sperm donor in there i would push and he would walk away and go sit back down and the nurses kept telling him he cant do that and he didn't care then i had my adopted sister in the room and she was holding my other leg and chomping gum in my face and i ended up telling her i was going to punch her in the face if she kept chomping in my ear and then she did it even louder and pissed me off.. but before i even started pushing the nurses were there telling me to do the breathing exercise and the nurse who was doing it just had gotten back from lunch and her breathe stinks so bad i ended up yelling at her telling her i couldn't do the breathing cause her breath stank and that i kept turning my head on her and she said sorry and went and got a mint and then after that all the nurses had mints in their mouths i couldn't help but laugh i ended up telling the nurse sorry because i felt bad and she was like don't worry about it I've been called way worst during delivery and i was like damn. but i didn't have her natural her big ass head was stuck in the birth canal so i had to have an emergency c section and get an epidural and sign all types of paperwork while having contractions... and next thing i know I'm getting cut open while I'm wide awake 7 layers of skin tissue and muscle all to get my daughter out and even then she was still stuck and the doctor told me he delivered over 6000 babies and mine was one of the hardest he had to do and i was shocked. but thankfully she is here now 

would you have a pen pal?

 would you ever have a pen pal? how do you feel talking to a complete stranger? i have thought about having a pen pal before but i never actually did it. I've been watching love after lockup and it has me thinking like all these people just be out here for real messaging random ass people just to message them and then they get married i think that is wild to me. if i was ever to actually get a pen pal i would never let it get to that extent and fall in love with a random stranger if anything i would get a pen pal to be able to write more on my blog about everything it would give me more stories and i could have a few pen pals and make up stories about myself so they wouldn't know who they were really talking to. i almost would take it as an experiment really which is fucked up because they are people and they have feelings but at the same time i just want to know what their stories are and maybe talk about it and see who they are and what they do in life and all that stuff like that and see what is going to happen for them in their lives and see what plans they have and what they could do to make it easier for them and things like that its almost like i want to be a journalist and give these peoples story a voice so they can get out there and be heard even if it is just a few people at  least someone is seeing it and even if its just one person that's one more person that didn't before.

    i think this would be a great idea i will make an email just for that so i dont give out my personal email or information at all. gotta think smart about it 

i will be that neighbor from hell

 I live in an apartment complex that if full of children of all ages and they have random parks all throughout my complex. normally I don't have any problems with my neighbors but today was different. i don't think I overreacted to how I did and I'm proud of myself for not beating her ass. so, my kids and the neighbor kids are playing in the open field next to the park right by our apartment and as the kids are running down to the park this other neighbor's dog comes running at the kids mind you, they are all 7 and under so they aren't that big. they all freeze, and the dog starts to charge my son who is 4 and he is scared of dogs so he took off running this lady proceeds to yell at my son to stop running because he will bite him so i told her if your dog bites my kid i will kill your dog and i fully would too. and then she starts to run her mouth and telling me keep my kids down there and called me a bitch so i told her she is an ignorant cunt and told her that she is supposed to have it on a leash all time anyway when its outside and she want to try saying " want to say that to my face" i said i sure the fuck will and she hurried up inside.. like i know i am acting crazy over this because it doesn't matter if someone's dog is coming at my kid i will be doing or saying something about it and now that she went inside and hit it makes me want to beat her ass even more so now it's like... do i get revenge and fuck her up and her shit or do i turn her into the office to where she gets in trouble that way if they even do anything when clearly she is in clear lease violation. it's just tearing me up what to do because i grew up you don't snitch you handle that yourself but i have kids now and i have to think about my actions and not losing them but at the same time i am such a hot head that i want to go smash her face in with my face and its taking everything in me not to i tried to laugh it up but it keeps bothering me and something will be done one way or another but i am giving myself till Monday to decide what i am going to do because that bitch got the right one now i am going to be making it to where she wished she never moved here..